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Today's list: Top 10 People Who Did Not Keep It Real In 2005.
1) Ma$e, for signing with G-Unit. Remember when Mase was dancing around in shiny suits with a big smile on his face? Then he left Bad Boy to become a college student and later a preacher, giving sermons decrying the immorality of Hip Hop. Now he's back, with G-Unit, once again calling himself "Murda" and trying to pretend he's a hardcore gangsta. G-Unit has a better chance of convincing us that Olivia isn't a man.
2) Diddy. From appearing in acne infomercials to acting as a modern day slave owner with the Lox contract situation (which has since been resolved), there are a lot of reasons why Puff made this list. Mostly, though, its for putting out the Biggie Duets album. Don't dilute Big's legacy by putting out a half-assed remix record just to make a few quick bucks at Christmas time. I'm all for another Biggie album, but do it right.
3) 50 Cent. First, he puts out an "autobiography." There is no way dude wrote even one word of this thing. I don't have any real problem with putting out a biography of yourself -- its a bit egotistical to put it out before you even hit 30, but that's a minor issue -- but don't try to pretend you're a writer. The second reason Fifty makes this list is for his song Window Shopper, where he calls out various rappers for not being able to buy stuff at the most expensive stores. Who are you, Joan Rivers? Calling out other rappers for not buying as much Prada as you ain't gangsta. Having Mase play the girlfriend role in the video for the song is even less gangsta.
4) Cary Sherman, head of the RIAA. Got p2p software on your computer? Then there's a chance this asshole is in the process of filing a lawsuit against you, whether you've downloaded copyrighted songs or not. Sherman still holds onto the idea that piracy is the reason why the music industry is heading into the tank. It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the fact that the major labels are putting out garbage and charging 20 bucks a CD for it.
5) Sony Music. Sony upped the ante in the battle against fair use this year, with the introduction of the Digital Rights Management software they began putting on their cds. Long story short: Sony's programmers put software (parts of which had code ripped off from other companies' programs) on their cds that were intended to prevent customers from copying the music onto their computers, and puts a EULA on the cd that essentially takes all fair rights away from the customer.
6) Kobe Bryant, LA Laker. Dude is playing basketball on national tv in, essentially, pantyhose -- and he is endorsing them for Nike!
7) J. Whyatt Mondesire, head of Philadelphia's chapter of the NAACP, claimed that Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb was a sell out for staying in the pocket rather than scrambling like he did earlier in his career. Surprisingly, Mondesire did not comment on whether Fran Tarkenton had betrayed white people by spending most of his career outside of the pocket.
8) French MP Francois Grosdidier. When riots broke out in the Paris' equivalent of the projects in November, many French politicians blamed French rap for the cause of the unrest, ignoring the pervasive discrimination in French culture against muslims. Grosdidier led the attack against rap, saying rap music should be banned from the radio.
9) Bizarre, member of D12. Bizarre makes the list for appearing on the upcoming season of VH1's Celebrity Fit Club. Yeah, Bizarre needs to shed some pounds, but try to maintain some dignity.
10) K-fed, a.k.a. Keven Federline, a.k.a. Britney's Baby Daddy. Leaving your pregnant girlfriend to become Britney Spears' manservant was bad enough, but now he has convinced Disco D to produce a rap album. Defile Britney all you want, but don't mess with hip hop. Y'all Ain't Ready, indeed.
12/29/2005 7:03:38 PM posted by Fresh