Chicken is the reason I gave up vegetarianism after 7 years and I honestly could go without any other meat lamb is nice, steak is good occasionally. Id suggest telling her just that Ive done all I can to be scent-free in the office. But when their manners just get to be too much for you,. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Check out these four natural remedies to nix spring allergies. It doesnt smell nice on me, but my husband used to wear it and I loved it. I get the sense that this issue of sensitivity to smells is very cultural. Sniffing is one of my triggers to, whenever I her even one small sniff I get a huge panic attack. The scent literally makes me a little queasy, just like the smell of too many lilies or orchids, which are toxic to many people, especially children. It's a personal issue and you won't like it but it needs addressing and I don't want you to react badly OK? Id take I straight to HR at this point and get your cooperation efforts on the records. I would have straight up refused to change my personal habits in such a way. I like the idea of having her walk into the office blindfolded and walk by OP and around the entire workforce, as I read earlier in this thread. If someone is wearing perfume with patchouli in it, I get an immediate headache; if its a lingering scent from a previous days perfume, Ill be aware of it and will develop a slow headache over the course of the day the longer Im around the scent. I commented below, but it seems to me that your coworker just doesnt like your scent. It would suck for OP if it is her entire wardrobe and she just cant smell it. Id be very hungry around someone who smelled like cookies, but its not an unpleasant scent at all! Its miserable. Ive tried to explain to my coworker that basically nothing I use is scented anymore, but she makes exaggerated sniffing noises and says things like, Oh, patchouli AGAIN? when I get near her. I guess my point is if coworker is smelling something and attributing it to the OP because of past issues, something needs to be done to determine what the source of something is, and I know blindfolds are a weird thing, but it might actually worth it to float as a trial balloon that Look youre smelling something, we agree you are, youre not crazy, but we DONT agree on what something is. Oops. Good luck! They say scent is our strongest memory, meaning that some smells immediately transport us to a specific person or place in time. He doesnt wear cologne, and keeps up his hygiene (and doesnt use mothballs). We had all worked together for over two years before this started. Also, if you were considering making exaggerated sniffing noises and jokes about patchouli, it might not be helpful. DEAR DEIDRE: THE woman who sits behind me at work makes disgusting snorting noises all the time and it is driving me mad. (and frankly, it is no longer OPs problem to address. Love the Smelly LW title! It was only when I went on vacation with friends and that was the only whiskey sold at the bodega near where we were staying that I managed to drink it again. Its a hippie scentmaybe. 1. Sadly, lots of people fall for this. LPR causes post-nasal drip, a lump in the throat feeling, and can cause . Ive always had it and its bananas impossible to explain to anyone without coming off as a jerk when Id suddenly fume or snap a pencil under the table or run away from the dinner table. Im not going to cycle through god knows how many detergents and cleaning products to find one that both works for our youngest kid (eczema), is affordable, and isnt bothersome/an allergen to a random third party. Middle ear pressure and nasopharyngeal pressure were simultaneously measured during forceful sniffing. Hold a constructive private conversation. and was thinking well, that might be awkward enough to end the whole thing and then you said exactly that :). Maybe its made a home in her subcutaneous fat. I love lOccitane products, they somehow avoid scent allergies for me. 100% this. I would imagine it must smell much different to those that like patchouli because I would never call the scent I smell pleasant. And its usually not like I can just switch from the scented version to the unscented one the one Im using is the only thing there is! Not sure if she has a medical condition though or she just doesnt wear deodorant/antiperspirant. I met my husband while I was working as a pizza cook at Chuck E. Cheese. That scent in particular seems to really linger even if youre not specifically wearing it. (Especially since you cant actually smell it unless you are sniffing my head, and no one at work has any business sniffing my head. I mentioned to my manager that I was cutting out the one thing I could think of that could be leaving a scent, and so far there hasnt been additional complaints (that I know of). Morning all. So while your ailment might be legitimate, running from the room or suddenly grabbing your forehead when you smell someone these behaviors ARE going to seem rude and you might have to accept that and live with being known as rude. Let me tell you, African women, French women and certain Asian women wear perfume when they are out in public. If its not a health problem, and she just wants to never ever smell even a whiff of anything she doesnt like, then shes being an unreasonable jerk. For real I understand if people *like* the smell of Febreeze, but seriously, its not some magical odor-disapperating powder, so dont act like its automatically preferable to any other strong scent. Sneaky jerks. Makes me smell like an old shoe. I know the LW said she does not enjoy chemical-y scents, but are there any other scents that the LW enjoys that wouldnt bother the coworker? I have a coworker who is brash, cool, and seemed real. Taking credit for your ideas. This should prevent any other smells from entering her nose. At this point, it seems to me that her behavior is/is verging on (whichever seems most appropriate to you) workplace bullying, and I am concerned. Then see what Boss says, and go from there. Maybe at one point she noticed a particular scent OP used to wear and now smells even lingering traces that no one else would be able to smell. So I do what I can to not work right next to those coworkers with triggering scents, and ignore the ones that are just annoying or that I just dont like. And its one of the most powerful triggers available. Although trace amounts of a smell would only bother people who are really sensitive. Im trying to come up with something constructive like the rest of the comments, but all that keeps going through my head is why are you so obsessed with me? a la Mean Girls. Find out what causes asthma, and how to take control of your symptoms. No. Yes. Handling 'Gross' Things Can Be Tricky for HR Advice for HR professionals. Whatever brand they use has a very off putting smell. Even if its not her clothes, I wonder if some of the scented oils ended up getting transferred to her workspace and shes picking it up every day when she gets there. Dude knew he shouldnt smoke and tried to quit repeatedly, and it is not like he didnt take steps to try to mitigate, but having a coworker complain repeatedly about him was mean. If the colleague continues, especially in a loud, unrestrained manner, consider making a complaint to your manager or human resources department. We disclaim all responsibility for the professional qualifications and licensing of, and services provided by, any physician or other health providers posting on or otherwise referred to on this Site and/or any Third Party Site. Youve done whats reasonable at this point. Theyve been here since February and they still smell the same I wonder what it is! I do think at that point she would need to differentiate between something merely existing and something being a problem, though. Continuous sinus nose pressure after 2nd child? I happen to like scents like patchouli, but it is a strong scent, so perhaps its lingering someplace. give you the smell test. This could be the co-workers version of thermostat wars. Would you mind linking to some of that research? Other commenters have made some potentially useful suggestions about other sources of scent; however, my reading of this is that your coworker is being a jerk. I have the sinking feeling that OPs coworker is going to be a classic case of you cant prove a negative. I didnt want to go there, but I had that thought too. Im not trying to like, lecture you, but I really think more people should be made aware of just HOW BAD Febreeze is. You are a much nicer person than I. I would have drawn a line in the sand with your co-worker in a likely not-nice manner. You can find these variations, among others: a quick touch of an index finger to the nose. Something like jeopardy would trigger a kind of nervousness. . does it? up. Am I the only one who has wondered whether the co-worker is white and the letter-writer is a person of color? Its driving my husband insane. So one day I stopped accommodating completely. My husband is quite sensitive to smell and he uses it so I thought it would be okay. Although one important difference was that the LW in that case was the allergic co-workers boss, so they needed to be able to have private conversations some times. The only thing Id point out is that the coworker specifically mentioned patchouli when making comments about the smell, and lemon definitely does not smell like patchouli. But Im not going to ask another person to never drink that tea again. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. But it really, truly is an instant, intense fight-or-flight feeling and knowing its irrational doesnt make that kind of heart-pounding, blinding adrenaline go away. Here is my most recent one. Yeah. I am scent sensitive but not to all scents, and I have colleagues who are more sensitive than I but who can tolerate things I cant.). It sounds like your coworker is a drama llama and shes in the wrong. If your friends wear/are around patchouli I doubt they would be able to smell residual fragrance. Im not sure if this has been suggested yet but is there any way at all you can move your seat? Even if there is some light scent hanging around (due to her conditioner or whatever) thats pretty normal. Patchouli has actually been a key scent note for Dior for decades :-). Fine. Those are lengths to which I am totally unwilling to go to accommodate someone at work and I feel are things that no one has the right to ask of a coworker. A physical change of environment for one or both of them should neutralise this co-workers issue. Love it! Some of that scent is going to linger in the machine, so even if I do my clothes separately, there might be scent residue that affects the coworker. Sorry, I scented was an autocorrectI wrote unscented. Maybe the OP or the manager can talk with the cleaning crew to find out what products they are using to clean the desks, carpets, etc. Unscented soaps, lotions, body washes, deodorants, laundry detergents, and dishwasher detergents are all easier to find than unscented shampoo. This women used lemon scented Clorox wipes. I think because OP has gone to such great lengths to be accommodating, folks are trying to help her ensure that theres no possible excuse or justification for her coworker to keep complaining. Even if she has legitimate fragrance sensitivities and some people do, although its not clear if thats really whats going on with her or not this isnt the way for her to handle it. Its a supervisors job to do that. Her coworkers shouldnt be expected to so drastically alter their personal habits and small joys during non-work hours. Im not altering a huge chunk of my life because someone doesnt like how I smell. I wanted to give the coworker the benefit of the doubt at first. Dont wear it to work is really reasonable, but asking someone to never use it is not like you said, there are other scents that are also hated by some. Ive stopped wearing perfume, have switched to unscented deodorant, and I wash my clothes in unscented detergent. If it is bullying, then standing up for your right not to be verbally abused may help. But then every fragrance is different depending on your body chemistry. Offensive even. But that requires A: Absolutely believing the coworker that they smell something, and convincing them you believe them and realio trulio WANT to get to the bottom of this. I enjoy wearing perfume, but tend to stick to indie oil scents, since the smell tends to stick closer to my skin (so, in theory, I dont bother my coworkers) and also because I seem to be sensitive to the alcohol that a lot of spray perfumes use. They figure X wasnt so hard, so X+1 shouldnt be a big deal either. Yeah, this was my thought. The place sold those cinnamon-scented pine cones and she was right at the front where they were stocked. It may not register with me that Im smelling something, but if Im in a good mood and start getting irritable for no apparent reason, I usually think about the smells around me to identify the culprit. But I was situated in front of the AC, I could open windows and office doors to ventilate, we had an air purifier in the office, and he had a fan pointed on him pretty constantly blowing the scent away from him. What can I say, I both went through a goth phase in high school AND lived in San Francisco for several years! Im sensitive to even small amounts. and if tissues don't work for someone there are medications and netty pots and SO MANY alternatives to sniffling forever and ever. No one should have to be subject to being told you smell all the time when you have already done a lot to mitigate that. So whether shes extra-sensitive or not, shes clearly a jerk. I believe in this case, the OP is white (based on the photo Gmail sends with the email, which of course isnt 100% conclusive). Consideration and empathy cut both ways. It became a campus-wide thing. Finding affordable products that actually work for my skin and hair is extremely extremely difficult. Privacy Policy and Affiliate Disclosures, our group member has a fragrance sensitivity - and we're supposed to be hugged to check for any scents, my employees husband wont stop calling me to complain about her evaluation, http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/06/aversions-to-food-and-why-smells-make.html, should I tell my coworker about our colleagues criminal record, I deeply regret joining my companys leadership program, and more, my company is cutting my overworked teams pay as punishment for mistakes. Id be willing to use a different scent on works days if one really bothered someone, but not to give it up completely. I think considerate coworkers like you should do what they can to help out other coworkers, but at the same time, you shouldnt have to give up something you enjoy using in your free time because of a work conflict. LW here Nope, I dont use any kind of incense or oil diffusers at home. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. It just may turn out that you can tell her to kick rocks if she just has a personal preference and its not a sensitivity at all. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But more likely these coworkers are the only people left with improvements to make in this situation. I totally read this as coworker just being a power-tripping, Mean Girls style jerk. He says it's allergies and that the allergy medicines make him drowsybut I'm not so sure it's even allergies. All Rights Reserved. If youve been sniffling for weeks or months, you can rule out a cold, Dr. Reisman says. I dont wear the one perfume I own (which is very light and solid perfume so I can wear a very small amount) to work because I dont want to disturb coworkers. yeah, the patchouli AGAIN? comment is what makes me think rude coworker over coworker with scent sensitivities. My guess from your other comments is that the particular scent of patchouli bothers her and that its lingering somewhere like your hair, your car, something. Its Bully 101 to push and push and push until the victim explodes, and then so and so blew up at me for NO REASONoh, poor me. 4. Because you sniffle 24/7 and you dont ever even try to blow your fucking nose.. Your symptoms are very common for people who have a form of acid reflux called laryngopharyngeal reflux - also known as "silent reflux" because many people with LPR don't have the traditional symptoms of heartburn. (No, sorry, people reading this, your grandmothers literally award winning fried chicken is still going to make me gag.). Is it my body? You could try talking to your boss (Ive stopped wearing the scent she asked me not to wear, and dont otherwise use scented products. I would scrub down after work and still smell like that garlic butter sauce we put on breadsticks and cheesy bread. Agreed. 1. As an example, you could say, "I'm very sensitive to odors and I lose my focus at work whenever I smell a burp." Or you could say, "I'm on the phone a lot, and the extra . And yeah, it really makes me feel for the OP here. Decisions are made. This gesture communicates the non-verbal message, "I am virile, powerful and dominant". that are much more reasonable than making an entire office change routines and buy completely new products. Unrelated to any sort of sickness, but I loathe the taste of chicken and always have. I meant no offense and should have not used the word disgust. If your clothes are synthetic, that could be the culprit. Calmly and professionally call out the patronizing person without making a scene or being dramatic by pointedly yet politely saying, "Gee, that comment sounded a bit condescending to me. In the last few years Ive suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds. Its not like youre shoving incense sticks up her nostrils. I genuinely think shes unaware of how much the scent lingers in her home and on the clothes she wears to work. Your coworker may just be associating you with whatever smell she didnt like before. The coworker is *totally* acting like a jerk. Curiously enough, the first symptom I get is irritability. Am I the only one whos honestly shocked about how were trying to make the OP tiptoe around her co-worker? I worked with someone who really didnt like one of our co-workers so she was constantly making mean comments about this person scent and appearance. People who dont like indie-type perfumes often just categorize them all as patchouli as a catch-all for hippie smells. This. Indicate gently, very gently, why it's a problem. Thoughts?. Its your co-workers responsibility to go to their supervisor with a request for accommodation, doing the formal form filled out by a physician versus going to you each time she doesnt like the way you smells when you have done everything that you can do to accommodate her. OP has done everything possible to accommodate them. Yeah not really. I would be saying you have a problem with the smell of soap and water? Her co-worker is being incredibly rude. You've been told. My wife gave up chewing gum around me years ago, before I realized I was the one with the problem. Maybe you were sabotaging her diet and it was making her grumpy? Blech! Be mindful of how you feel around this person. I'm glad to hear that some snifflers have experienced repercussions! I feel like this thread could be about my brother once he gets an office job. Wait, shes not allergic or so scent-sensitive that its giving her headaches, or other negative physiological effects? People often turn to over-the-counter nasal sprays to clear a stuffed-up nose. She was here before me, and Ive been here three years. I have very short (pixie-length) bleached and dyed hair, and the schedule I have works really well for both the color and the texture of my hair. We bathed at least three times per evening and doused ourselves in cologne - useless little rituals in the name of AIDS. Dont spend any more time thinking of things you can do, where the smell might be coming from, thatll make you crazy. OP, youve done all thats reasonable & more. They got washed by themselves. Its too bad because it is important not to question people about things like allergies, but as soon as somebody realizes nobodys allowed to do so..also I think its worse with smells because telling somebody they smell is a very personal, emotional thing So if someone realizes they can get at someone like that, while covering it up with oh, my allergies! then its going to happen. Ive never had anyone else mention my scent unless I specifically ask, and even then its usually so faint that they have to sniff the crook of my elbow or whatever to smell it. Even if she still can smell something on you that youre not noticing, shes not bringing it up in a productive way at all exaggerated sniffing and snarky comments are not helping anything! I eventually left for another job and Im told she left right after. I will also say, as someone who is very sensitive to smells, that if the scent bothers the coworker it would probably only take a trace amount for her to smell it, although shes handling it like a jerk. Or, if OP isnt the type to be cold at work, perhaps a fan set on low that could blow the scented air away from the coworker? When you start sniffling and sneezing, you know spring has sprung. Some infections present with unusual symptoms (like bad breath) or no symptoms at all. Its possible the smell is lingering somewhere else or has another cause (from your handbag, or its actually the smell of your car air freshener, or something other than the original perfume). Youre right that at this point shes probably already tried most or all of these things it really does sound like the OP is being extremely accommodating! Being 100% scent-free is really, really hard and takes a lot of lifestyle changes most people arent willing to make for someone they only see during the day, 5 days a week. It doesnt help with co-worker, but since what co-worker is doing can be utterly crazy making and gaslighting feeling, I hope it helps you see how it could be just her. The next time she asks for help that you haven't been assigned to provide her, make the conversation about you following your boss's direction. Though we also had an open thread commenter who had smell problems that it seemed might be due to her vinegar rinses, so Id say go easy on those too. Let him adjust the seating plan, talk to the coworker, talk to HR, etc. My boss, his boss and my other coworkers agreed that neither of us smelled but the complaints continued. Allow your puppy little sniff breaks along the walk to decompress from walking alongside you in Heel and get their fill of scents. And you cant tell me that people who do have legitimate issues with scents dont routinely encounter scents that bother them. Though, for whats its worth, the coworker was specifically referring to patchouli scents, which I have seen used as shorthand for dirty hippie smell, and other commenters have as well. I have an issue with some scents. This will force the co-worker to either repeat his comment in front of everyone with the same level of confrontation, or soften his approach. I agree that it seems that this person is harassing or bullying her. For me though, I have three cats in a small apartment and I do my best to keep the cat stink under control. Another thought that just occurred to me is a cloth car seat, so maybe while the clothing items were washed, perhaps its being transferred from other places. (And if the scent is specifically patchouli, the coworker might not be bugging other coworkers because they dont carry patchouli scent. I also had the thought that the coworker is trying to pick on OP with the smelly hippie stereotype. At that point, I think the OP can justifiably say that shes done what she can do, and if further accommodations are needed, the coworker needs to sort that out with their employer, not with OP. Preempt HR. Learn about the causes of chronic congestion, postnasal drip and constant sniffling and how to treat it. Outside of behavioural therapy, I dont know how this could be fixed other than moving the coworkers desk away from the LWs. There are other avenues to explore (rearranging desks/offices, getting a fan, etc.) I ate a piece of pecan pie on a trip to Australia when I was 19 and then got food poisoning and was sick for days. Oh trust me, I've been trying to get a private office for years. This. Makes weird noises. Because she is acting like a jerk. I tried everything. I honestly tried to accommodate my coworker but there was nothing more I could do. If those same people saw the fire, theyd be grateful and not at all offended. But talk to your Dr. That could be the diagnoses. So stop it. A Critical Coworker - 5 Reasons Why Here are 5 reasons why your coworker is so critical of you: They Don't Like You Too Controlling Genuine Advice Habit Too Smart In this section we will explain why your fellow worker has that irritating habit of always poking their nose into your work and pointing out something they don't like! I may be slightly fixated on that part because I have an unheated detached garage and it snowed last night. OP: Your coworker is a jerk. Theres no perfume smell, it smells very natural to me. Asking a coworker to switch soaps is ridiculous. +10000 the phrase is reasonable accomodation and op has gone above and beyond. It is not intended to be and should not be interpreted as medical advice or a diagnosis of any health or fitness problem, condition or disease; or a recommendation for a specific test, doctor, care provider, procedure, treatment plan, product, or course of action. I used to use an incense in my apartment and didnt realize how it clung until I started to get compliments on my perfume. Or heck, if OP stores the oils on or in her dresser, it may be that some of the clothing items have picked up a hint of the scent. It also could be completely because she has an issue with the OP and not the scent. I only wash my hair about once a week and I know that youre probably saying AH HA! (I try to share this with people if theyd believe me and not be offended [e.g., my boyfriend] so they know why I might have to suddenly leave the room, but lots of people think this is totally fake and incredibly rude [e.g., my mother, who unfortunately chews with her mouth open in a way that taps into my crazybrain]. Im sure she thinks that the scent is gone I have no doubt about her sincerity and Im also pretty sure Id be able to tell on the Monday if shed worn patchouli that weekend. Perhaps he has the scent-free version that my two cents mentioned. I believe this poster also used vinegar rinses on her hair and it was a regular thing, so the aggregate of trace smells was probably passing the tipping point. ! I apologized for using my lotion and took it home. For the two years I worked there, there was not another issue. Oh yeah, thats smart too. Toxic coworkers are, first and foremost, predominantly selfish individuals. 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Make in this situation she has an issue with the problem has wondered whether the co-worker white... Straight up refused to change my personal habits in such a way I commented below, but I that. And something being a problem, though I straight to HR, etc. to! Suddenly become extremely sensitive to eating sounds their fill of scents strong scent, so X+1 shouldnt expected! Some of that research rest of the keyboard shortcuts the nose most powerful available., that might be awkward enough to end the whole thing and you... White and the letter-writer is a drama llama and shes in the wrong follow your favorite and... And Ive been here since February and they still smell the same wonder. Your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations but talk to HR at this point get! Them should neutralise this co-workers issue hard, so X+1 shouldnt be expected to so alter! It was making her grumpy loved it doused ourselves in cologne - useless little rituals in the name of.... Or no symptoms at all February and they still smell the same I wonder what it is this person harassing!
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